Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Brother of Sam

The brat came sat on my stomach in amiable fashion last night after lights out.
"Mamma," he began, and I sighed, because that tone meant a long conversation was imminent.
"Mamma whad if I had a brudder?"
But you dont have one, child, you have a lovely cousin brother, and three gorgeous cousin sisters and that, my child is your lot given your parents laziness with regards to further procreation.
He is persistent, this child. God knows he didnt get that from either of us.
"But whad if I had a brudder. If he grewed in yer stomach?"
I cant have any brothers or sisters growing in my stomach, I told him. Your pappa has to put in the baby seed first for anything to grow.
"D baby seed is a small seed?" he asked. Yes, I replied, seeking ways and means to end the conversation before it ventured into further explicit detail which I was in no mood to tackle at the end of the working day.
"If pappa doesnt put the seed, I will get one seed fer you. From the watermelon. You can put it in your stomach and make a baby grow."
Mamma nodded noncommitally.
The brat sighed, a sigh of wonder and future planning.
"If yer stomach becomes big wid a baby, and a baby boy comes out with the vacuum cleaner (yes, thank you 3 Idiots for explaining the birthing process along with animated graphics), den I will have a baby brudder?"
Yes, but youre not going to have any baby brother. Pappa and Mamma wanted only one baby and that is you.
He was in no mood to listen and continued on his daydreaming in the night.
"An I'll call him Sam. An when udder chillun will beat him I will go and perteck him, an I will be a big brudder."

Mamma shuddered involuntarily at the choice of name, and hoped it didnt come from Son of Sam.
Mamma redeposited him from his perch on her stomach to his space on the bed. Pappa continued his earth tremor inducing snores undisturbed.
The brat was still lost in his daydreaming of a little brother, who he presumed would be born a walking talker toddler.
"And when we go to school, I will hole his hand and take him safely up the stairs. Sam, I will tell him, don run, you will fall down."
Mamma feels a phantom uterine contraction.
"Everyone will say yer older brudder is so strong."


  1. Awww! What to say...Aww! poor guy he really wants a sibling na :)

  2. Minka2:11 AM

    Very cute ! And I echo your thoughts on 3 idiots. My son was found playing with stuffed toys and as soon as he saw me, he pleaded me to get vaccuum cleaner, car battery etc. I pretended to get them only to realize he was trying to deliver the baby teddy bear !!!

  3. Brat is way ahead of others..not just asking for a sibling..planned all what he would do as well with him! Aww...watermelon seed baby!

  4. tell him to 'adopt' arhaan. i need a baby sitter and quick.

  5. Thats a lotta day/ night dreaming! He really badly wants to be the big brudder!

  6. Anonymous4:39 AM


  7. sigh i am the dreading the day mine will come and ask for one

  8. ahhh the talks of a single child! I get that a lot from Lil P too. I'm LOLing at the watermelon seed part .. Kids!

  9. Totally loved this one.. lovehis baby talk... If he kept talking like that I'd've been pursuaded to get him many many baby brothers... muuuuuah to him.

  10. Ohhh! When are you getting him a Sam? Jaldi jaldi!

  11. Give him that brudder already!! Go on, get to it!

  12. Anonymous8:19 AM

    Hi Kiran

    It is an aaaw from me as well. What can I say. I too was an only child and dreamt of a "baby brudder".

    Your little one is too cute.


  13. awww... sister, I SOOOO get this!

  14. Oh jeez!!! I hope N never talks like that. The only person on the planet who could emotionally blackmail me (even if its very little) would be li'l N. I sometimes wonder that will the decision of having just 1 kid leave N feeling all lonely and sad :(

  15. Your son is such a darling!

  16. Watermelon seed, that's a first!! LOLed through this...he would make an awesome brudder, methinks :)

  17. awwww! he would indeed make an awesome big brudder! :) he has got all the fundas right!


    watermelon seeds indeed! :D