When I read the newspaper yesterday, this question kept haunting me through the day. How could life seem so full of despair that you would kill yourself and kill your two innocent children as well, children who trust you for every single thing and have accompanied you unquestioningly to the 19th floor. Is it an act of desperation, or an act of pure selfishness, a statement that since you have brought the child into the world, it is your prerogative to take the child away from it. Or is it a gesture of defiance against the people who have led you to take such a terrible step, defiance that states, well, you got rid of me, but I'm taking my children with me too. Or a sense of hopelessness that there was nothing in the world for either you or your children to look forward to and therefore you needed to kill yourself and your children.
What could cause a mother to kill her children?
I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. I know for sure when a person gets into a depressed state of mind, irrational thoughts dominate the mind and the thought process. I will not comment on Nidhi's domestic situation, it seems to my mind, like what a majority of Indian women go through, nothing that merits jumping off a building and taking two innocent lives with her. I would see this as an act of cowardice.
She was well educated. She could have walked out and earned her living, and supported her children if the domestic situation was so intolerable. She could have stood up for herself and her rights if she did not wish to be 'dominated' as the newspaper reports go. She could have see a life with her children out of the marriage, given that she was surely capable of earning a living.
Or was it that she had been so conditioned by family pressures that she couldn't contemplate a divorce and raising her children on her own. Or was it that she was in the grip of an irrational overwhelming bout of depression that wasnt allowing her to think rationally. I'd like to think it was the latter. We do crazy things when depression grips us. We women are conditioned to keep things quiet, not talk about issues that are upsetting us, sweep things under the carpet. Our anxieties build up within us until we implode. Maybe this was what happened with Nidhi.
I can only feel my heart breaking at the thought of the two innocent children who willingly and trustingly accompanied their mother to the 19th floor only to be hurled to their death.